The Art of Failing
by LemonsEatMyBrains
Summary: I'm going to do whatever everyone else is doing and say that Sasuke is new in school, and Naruto is the king. Hahhaa not, he is failing every class and has to depend of Sakura. Enjoy! SasuXNaru KibaXHina, ShikaXIno just to warn you.


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**Dear Readers:**

**As of this moment I have just finished eating barbecue ribs and fries.**

**I think I'll go obese before this story ends.**

**So here we have this story...called whatever I want it to be called so just read and find out already.**

**So I'll just ramble for a bit. In my school, no gets told when a new kid comes. So just randomly there's a new face in the class, absolutely no questions asked. Then there's the ever awkward moment when all the seats are filled, and a late student comes to class to find their seat taken by some alien. **

**Its happened more then once, in which point I've had to sit at the back tables and mope all class, mentally firing bombs at my teachers face.  
**

Chapter one: Periwinkle blue.

The sun is a demon. It hides itself during the most unseen moments of a person's life, and just when a human being is at its most blissful edge, teatering on awarness and totall damnation, it splatters forth like the hounds of hell and wreaks havoc on your retinas.

And so began a wonderful morning.

This boy, no older then fifteen and with the obvious teenage rebelious additude, awoke to just such a hell. He wrenched open his eyes and found sparkles as the sun burned the whites of his eyes to cinders. He cursed to the heavens and rolled to get away from the damned heat, only to run out of bed. The floor met his nose with a delightfull crunch, and so Naruto left for school with a tissue shoved in his left nostril.

His clothes were disheveled and his hair askew, the whites of his eyes a crimson red from the horrible awakening. Though despite his appearance or the angry way he muttered as he walked, scaring small children along the way, the sky still winked a bright periwinkle blue and the clouds still floated like runaway tuffs of cotton candy high on helium.

"Naruto!" Burst forth a yell from the heavens. Naruto looked up, just in time for a rambuncious brunette to crack a shoulder in his ribs, sending them both tumbling to the grass. Thankfully not the concrete sidewalk.

"Kiba you ass, get off me!" Naruto protested. Unfortunately Kiba weighed a lot and decided to sit on his chest until his friends caught up. The younge girl Hinata, and the tall stoic angry sunglass wearing boy Shino, soon made it to where they were. Only then did Kiba relinquish his sofa, and stoof next to the cute girl. Naruto glared what would of been daggers if not for the obvious fact that that's ridiculous and impossible. "Geeze, what's with the hyper additude?"

"You look like shit." Kiba chuckled.

"Naruto." Shino said with a curt nod.

"G-Good Morning, Naruto-kun." Hinata stammered. Naruto grinned and greated them, ignoring Kiba and continuing his walk. Despite the rude awakening courtesy of Kiba, he found himself unusually chipper. He hated to say it, but Kiba's energy was infecious. Not sleepy sand could keep that infection from taking a new host at every turn.

"So did you finish the essay?" Kiba asked nonchalantly. Trying, but failing sadly.

Naruto's eyes became wide and he froze mid stride, foot uncharacteristiclly high in the air.

"E-Essay?"

"The essay that's been on the board for two week. That Kakashi's been talking about for a month? That is a good ten percent of this semesters mark?" Kiba, being the helpful trooper he was, decided to jog Naruto's slack memory.

Naruto slammed his palms to his temples and cried out in unrestrained horror.

"Oh no!" His wail could be heard from leages away. A young woman walking past jumped in a startled fashion, before breaking away at a run to get away from the raging inferno that was Naruto. "Kakashi's going to kill me!"

"Didn't finish the essay did you?"

Naruto spun around to find the curiously pink headed girl standing before him. Sakura grinned darkly at his misfortune.

"Please Sakura I beg you, you gotta help me out!" Naruto wailed, getting down on his hands and knees and sullying his honor for her. Though he didn't have much, because he always begged her for homework anyway. "Please, can you help me just this once?"

Sakura grinned mischeviously. "Lunch for two weeks, and you have to do what I say for two days straight."

"E-everything?" Naruto whispered.

"Ev-er-y-th-ing." Sakura enounciated.

Naruto sighed but agreed, shaking Sakura's outstretched hand. Sakura smiled with satisfaction as they began to walk. She tapped her chin ominously.

"What act should I have you commit first?" She pondered. Naruto glowered at the world and cursed whatever bad luck he had called upon himself being born into this world. Sakura's eyes lit up like a beacon and Naruto began to brainstorm what his gravestone would say. "I know! I'm feeling rather faint, piggy back me to school."

"All the way? But its thirteen blocks!" Naruto cried in horror and defeat.

Sakura tapped her chin and raised an eyebrow. "What was that slave? Ah, I can hear Kakashi's voice right now. "F"!"

"Sakura-chan is so cruel." Naruto sniveled. He knelt down and allowed her to rest on his back, before heaving her. "Huhhhh, you way more then I expec-"

Sakura flicked his ear and he shut up. Kiba was howling with trumphant laughter at the tortured soul as they continued to walk. Naruto grudgingly resumed his cursing as he struggled to keep hold of Sakura.

Shikimaru was just leaving the front door of a small townhouse they were passing. He looked up in surprise, and then grinned slightly.

"Hey." Shikimaru said. He was a horribly simplistic guy. Not much was said that didn't need to be said in the first place, in which case they often found the Shikimaru barely spoke at all accept to poke fun at Naruto, which he would argue was very important.

"Shikimaru save me!" Naruto cried, sweating profusely. "Can you help me with my essay-"

"Silence pet!" Sakura snapped, smacking his forehead. "You are under a verbal contract, remember?"

Shikimaru chuckled and shut his front gate, falling into step next to the ever quite Shino, where there would be no need for needless conversation.

"We should strap a bag of oats to his mouth and hand Sakura a horse whip." Kiba howled in laughter.

Naruto glared once again, but his glares failed at life, and so they were unaffective. As of that moment, there were seven blocks left and Naruto was feeling worse for wear, but he would make it. He didn't play soccer for nothing after all.

"Hey Hinata, did your dad give you the OK for a party saturday?" Kiba inquired. Hinata looked up hestitantly and nodded wearily. Kiba had goaded her into it after seeing the size of her house, and unfortunately her father was more then happy that she actually had friends who _wanted _to go over. So he was happy to accomidate. Her cousin on the other hand, wasn't.

"Y-Yeah, so you c-can show up at seven." Hinata said sheepishly. Hosting a party would fail epicly if she tried, so Sakura was there to plan the thing.

"Its going to be fun." Sakura said wistfully, tapping Naruto's head to some nonexistent music. "I can't wait! I'm going to invite Sai, do you think he'd go?"

"Ugh, not him." Naruto protested. "He's such an assehole."

"Only because you have a small penis." Kiba laughed. Naruto attempted to hit him, which only ended up in Sakura screaming and almost falling, but Naruto managed to catch her leg just in time. Unfortunately she hit him again.

"Shut up, that's not why!" Naruto cried. "He says rude things to everyone, and smiles at everyone which is really creepy and and-"

"He's not that bad." Kiba said, rolling his eyes.

"You don't even talk to him." Naruto said evenly, eyes narrowed.

"So?" Kiba teased. "At least I don't have a small-"

"Ino!" Sakura cried, waving her hands frantically.

"Sakura I'm going to loose my grip if you do tha-"

"Ino over here!" Sakura yelled, cupping her hands over her mouth. The blond turned around and smiled, jogging over. Naruto could see the school wall in the near distance, and tried not the think about the burning pain in his back and arms. He had to, otherwise if was goodbye school and hello failure.

"Hey you guys." Ino said happily. "So I can come to the party, and I'll even help decorate. Is it going to be a sleepover afterwards?"

"Well there's going to be alchohol." Kiba rolled his eyes. Ino glared.

"I'm not drinking." Ino said with a huff. "Do you know how much sugar is in that crap? If you don't be carefully that flat stomach of yours will become an ugly flabby gut."

"Hey, I don't drink half as much as Naruto." Kiba complained. Despite his protest, he patted his stomach warily and Ino grinned with smug victory.

"Just don't let Rock Lee drink." Naruto shuddered. "That's scary shit right there."

Sakura nodded heaftily. "I know!"

Naruto cried in victory and practically dropped Sakura when he passed the school gates.

Sakura pouted, before tapping Naruto on the shoulder.

"Now crawl to class."

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**Hahaha, sorry I felt like torturing something. Naruto of course is a prime candidate, and Sakura is great for being horrible to people.**

**Regarding the Hinata hosting a party thing, I know its highly unlikely, but understand this is the twenty first century and Hinata has no life, so it stands to reason that her father become obsessed with getting her friends.**

**Also, I'm tired so shut up.**

**Review if you like it and give me feeback. I really don't know where I'm going with this story, but it will be SasuNaru just because I relish the challenge and someone wanted me to try the whole school thing without making it cliched. So I hope they are still in character.  
**


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